im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
