Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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