Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
