I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
