ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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