I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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