You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
wow bdsm is so cute
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
