Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
