sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize