is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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