I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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