break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
