some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize