Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
