Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
