I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
