none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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