I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
