Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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