it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Sext me about skeletons
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
