Your dad touched me again.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
