he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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