Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
