It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Buhtt sex?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
