So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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