how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize