she is the kim kardashian of front butts
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
