so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
