What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize