the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
