she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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