what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
