my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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