For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
