So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
