it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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