am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
