Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
