trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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