I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize