You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
