Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
