There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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