This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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