it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
