Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
