I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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