So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
