Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
