omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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