So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
