oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
