I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
