I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
