No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
