Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
