I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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