No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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