That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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