I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
