NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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