I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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