Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize